the rest of time is...
not so long anymore.
and if now is part of eternity
then maybe it's okay
if I rest.
destroy destroy destroy...
such is the racket
the ignorant make
keeping me from this rest.
I already woke once today
for the first seven hours I did not live.
but the euphoric suffering is grand
my hands, looking at them
just cold, pale and dry
I just hover between
sun and rain
love and pain
mad and sane
life and death.
significance keeps hast'ning on me
but I really just want
to be left here alone
so that I finally may
Century of Loneliness
A century of nothing true...
Ah, how during those years I would laugh,
Locked up in that room with you,
A smile unreal
Pretending to feel
A permitted emotion and mindless devotion.
You were sweet, light-haired lover,
To not see past my cover,
To sleep soundly at night,
Sure that all would be right.
Ah, I betray you when night falls,
Drawn astray by the moon calls,
I slip away from your side
To make whole again my pride.
Curse me, O Gods, for how I do stray,
There is no other way!
Savage fool I have become,
By the bright yellow setting of the indifferent sun.
She would think I deceived myself,
But I cannot redeem myself,
Slipping out of my room
To that euphoric tune.
My sweetest of girls, how you'd rip me asunder
If you knew who'd been under
My spell for so long.
Rest at peace, my deceased,
On divine love may you feast.
My punishment will be threefold.
Forest, or, The Awakening
Unspoken I stood,
Grayed-over forest, a petrified wood,
Underbrush mind, still and stone, frozen kind,
Marble-branch limbs as the hidden path's hood.
Locked here in time, I am forever
Your phantom, your mystery in gray,
Unworldly neighbor with nothing to say.
I shivered that day,
Walking through me, sweet maiden,
As tender feet slid down the cold,
Soiled rocks unexposed for so long.
Silken skirts of yours trace me,
Virgin fingers erase me
Of the limestone I am with adoring caress.
You revitalize the life in me
With your long-waited journey
Through so many a tree
Here to me.
Then I, so aged, turn to green,
A color scarce to be seen
In this sheltered white grove.
Lush gold irises alight
At this sight, gentle dove,
With unrivaled delight.
Your bliss is my remedy,
Though still as an arbor,
My verdant leaves will embrace you.
I could never erase you,
My heavenly flower,
Of your life, spirit, color.
I will hold you forever.
Spells which can never be broken
cast upon my weary soul,
thrown out to sea in carelessness,
from here on in... I can never be whole...
Why hast never there yet been
A cure for that malady love?
Days renew with woundings too,
and a rift in the heavens above...
These ruins have run to collapse
o'er the icicle waters of bay.
If thou never art here to return again
then to drown in these waters I may...
When the light above glimmers, surface of sea,
with a pale desperate grasp, does my hand
reach into the sky... it is here I shall die...
take me by the heart and make me stand.